« Boys Won’t Be Boys was a transformative experience » – in conversation with Daniel Woodward

While Oulun teatteri gets ready for Boys Won’t Be Boys to grace its Pikisali stage, we asked cast member Daniel Woodward to both reminisce and look ahead.

In this interview, we delve into Daniel’s experience of sharing his story in Helsinki in May and his expectations for the upcoming shows in Oulu on 20 and 21 September.

 

You shared your story during the two sold-out Boys Won’t Be Boys performances at Svenska Teatern in May. How would you describe the experience? Has it brought up new trains of thought related to your relationship with masculinity? We would also love to hear about comments or feedback you have received.

Daniel: Boys Won’t Be Boys was in many ways a transformative experience. The biggest and greatest thing that I took away from the experience was to be able to really sit with an emotion and not shy away from it. Even though I feel like I’ve been quite in touch with my emotions, the experience of opening up about some of the most difficult moments of my life to a large crowd, in a spotlight nonetheless, was truly transformative. Allowing myself to feel, to cry and break down, to be so connected to the moment and my emotions was an experience that felt incredibly impactful and will surely stay with me.

Boys Won’t Be Boys has not really changed my perception of my own experience about masculinity, as masculinity is not something that I want or need to actively build myself around. However, learning about the experiences of masculinity that other people have is incredibly valuable, as is learning about the experiences in life from all people. In order to be able to understand and sympathise with someone, you first have to listen to their experience.

I received a lot of encouraging feedback from both acquaintances, family and friends, as well as the media. For many identifying as men, my story helped them reflect around their own toxic insecurities and traumas related to their masculinity. Some audience members identifying as women were thankful that we could share such transformative and mindful stories about masculinity.

The most impactful feedback that I got, however, was seeing my father crying and clapping in the audience when my performance was over. I have often felt seen by my parents, but never like that before.

 

 

As an academic involved with, among other disciplines, Gender Studies and having specialised in both hospitality and diversity work professionally, your background differs from the other performers, adding to the variety of experiences in the show. What do you feel your background brings to your performance?

Daniel: What might differentiate me from many of the other performers is the spectrum of my experience with masculinity – both regarding myself and the masculine spaces that I have been immersed in. Hospitality used to be, and still in many cases is, an arena where ‘toxic’ hypermasculinity and structural discrimination of all kinds is allowed to flourish. As a late teen until my early/mid twenties, I did not question much of this, as it was the matrix that constantly surrounded me since work and leisure constantly seeped into each other.

My experience of unlearning all of this through academia felt like such an amazing awakening. It was also a very strenuous journey, as I constantly had to turn inward and reshape myself and the way I was. More often than not, it also meant having many difficult, but incredibly important discussions with people that I had worked with or known before.

Going from being ‘one with the matrix’ of toxic hypermasculinity towards the polar opposite of it through academia and DEI work has definitely built my character. Part of this is still being in contact with many of the people that to a point represent that same old world.

In the eyes of some, I have become something of a nuisance, the guy who used to be cool but is now a feminist (even ‘radical’) killjoy. To others, I’ve become one of the people that show what the hospitality industry could and should be.

 

In the show, you talk about relating to other boys in your childhood and fellow men in your adult life. For instance, talking about feelings has not been a staple part of those relationships. How has the dynamic developed over time? Has working with fellow cast members brought something new to the table?

Daniel: I’ve started normalising talking about emotions and having them present much more in my relationships. Saying things out loud, being aware of and not hiding emotions, letting people know how something makes you feel – those have become really important. I have let friends know that if I ever say or do something that does not resonate well, it is okay to let me know how it makes them feel, which I will respect and take into consideration. Saying this out loud has changed many possible conflict situations to spaces safe for sharing, without the fear of ‘conflict’ or a negative reaction.

Working with and listening to fellow cast members has made me more aware of the physical side of friendships between men. Men tend to shy away from physical affection amongst each other, whereas for many other groups of people, physical signs of affection are commonplace. Realising things like touch do not have a gender is something I find myself thinking about. Whereas hugging another man feels completely ‘natural’ to me, something like, say, sleeping close to a male friend is still very gendered in my mind. It is a conscious structure that I have not yet been able to reorganise in my mind. However, being conscious of and talking about the matter helps break those barriers slowly but surely.

 

The Oulu shows are right around the corner. Is there something in particular you’re expecting from the performances at Oulun teatteri?

Daniel: Oulu is in fact the birthplace and home of my late grandmother, the best friend I ever had. Even though I do not have a strong connection to the city, I still have fond childhood memories. I am in fact getting married just a week before the Oulu performances. I expect that all my emotions will be present the whole week, which will no doubt make performing with the amazing crew even more special.

 

Upcoming shows in Oulu

Boys Won’t Be Boys will return to Finland in the autumn with two shows at Oulun teatteri.

20 September 2024 at 13:00
21 September 2024 at 19:00

Buy your tickets for Oulun teatteri!

 

Boys Won’t Be Boys’ performances in Finland are commissioned and produced by the Finnish Cultural Institute for the Benelux, produced together with Svenska Teatern and Oulun teatteri. The production is in collaboration with Jäbät & Tunteet and is generously supported by Svenska kulturfonden, Konstsamfundet, Otto A. Malmin lahjoitusrahasto, the Netherlands Embassy in Finland and Oulun Valistustalorahasto.